Lessons on Leadership from the Little Things in Life: Transparency Doesn’t Mean You Share Everything with Everyone All the Time
Life is full of examples that teach us lessons. That’s why stories and illustrations make learning so much more effective. When a story can be used to illustrate or demonstrate a valuable lesson, the story makes it much more understandable, relatable, and memorable. With that in mind, I want to take some time to do just that – share examples of circumstances and stories experienced in everyday life which illustrate leadership lessons that we can learn and apply. This is one of those examples, and it serves to point out that transparency does not mean that you should share everything with everyone all the time.
The last couple of episodes, I’ve shared stories about experiences with my brothers, and leadership lessons that came from those. So this time, seems that it is only appropriate to share a story about my sister, and this one involves her wedding day. Her wedding was a beautiful ceremony and a wonderful occasion of celebration for our family. My siblings and I were all part of the wedding party, and we thoroughly enjoyed everything about her special day.
Unbeknownst to her, though, I was experiencing a significant difficulty beneath the surface. You see, about a week before the wedding, I was working in my backyard, removing some weeds. We were living in a rural farming community at the time, and what I did not realize was that one of the “weeds“ that I removed was actually poison sumac. I had been exposed to plants like poison ivy, but had never had a reaction, so I’m sure that I wasn’t being as careful as I should’ve been. I did not recognize it for what it was, and so I used my bare hands to remove it from the yard.
By the next morning, I had started to develop a painful and extremely itchy rash, and within the next couple of days, it had spread over my whole body. I went to an urgent care facility, where I was informed that I had had a reaction to poison sumac, and so I contacted my doctor to get help. I tried the medication and ointments that he prescribed, but they were of little benefit to the pain and the itching. So, when the wedding day arrived, I had no choice but to put on the tuxedo over the rash from the poison sumac, and keep a smile on my face while fully dressed in a suit on a hot summer day. I really did enjoy the wedding, and it was a blessing to be a part of it, but at the same time, it was a miserable physical experience. But this was her day, and an important day, so I kept it to myself.
That experience provided an interesting parallel lesson for my leadership that is a great reminder for you as well. Research has shown that transparency is important for building and maintaining relationship and trust within an organization, but that doesn’t mean all the details, challenges, and flaws need to be openly exhibited. Sometimes, there are issues that you are navigating behind the scenes or beneath the surface, and they need to be dealt with privately. I once heard a pastor say that we ought to confess and address public sins publicly, personal sins personally, and private sins privately. Some issues that you are dealing with are private to your organization, and that privacy needs to be protected while you deal with it. That’s not a justification to cover up and excuse wrongdoing, but it is a reminder to be careful of how much you share, and with whom you share it.
That’s the lesson on leadership from this little thing in life, from quietly dealing with a reaction to poison sumac on my sister‘s wedding day. There are difficult things you have to deal with in your organization, relationships, and life. It is important that you deal with those appropriately, but also that you do so in the right context and with the right audience. Yes, it is important to be transparent, but to protect your organization and your people, make sure you exercise wisdom, discernment, and discretion in what you share, when you share it, and with whom you share it. As my dad once said, “There is no shame in your struggle, but it’s still wise to be careful who you share it with. Because being transparent does not mean that you share everything with everyone.
