Quote Your Dad

“The more you know, the more you know you don’t know.”

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Podcast Season 3, Episode 43: Lessons on Leadership from the Little Things in Life – Not Everyone Thinks the Same Way

Life is full of examples that teach us lessons. That’s why stories and illustrations make learning so much more effective. When a story can be used to illustrate or demonstrate a valuable lesson, the story makes it much more understandable, relatable, and memorable. With that in mind, I want to take some time to do just that – share examples of circumstances and stories experienced in everyday life which illustrate leadership lessons that we can learn and apply. This is one of those examples, and it serves as a reminder that not everyone thinks the same way.

Here is the link to the podcast.

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Lessons on Leadership from the Little Things in Life: Not Everyone Thinks the Same Way

Life is full of examples that teach us lessons. That’s why stories and illustrations make learning so much more effective. When a story can be used to illustrate or demonstrate a valuable lesson, the story makes it much more understandable, relatable, and memorable. With that in mind, I want to take some time to do just that – share examples of circumstances and stories experienced in everyday life which illustrate leadership lessons that we can learn and apply. This is one of those examples, and it serves as a reminder that not everyone thinks the same way.

My daughter was sitting with my 6-year-old grandson trying to decide on something to watch on tv together, and she asked him what movie he wanted to watch. He paused for a minute, then he said that it was taking a minute for his brain to process the name of the movie he was thinking of, because the doors that the name was behind in his brain were closed, and so he would be able to think of it in a minute when the doors opened. Yes, those were actually the words he used, including the statement that his brain was processing the name. After a minute, he said that none of the locks worked on the door, but that he had finally picked the lock to open the door to get the name of the movie he wanted to watch, and told her what it was.

This made me think of time when my children were in elementary school, and I was having a difficult time helping my son with his homework. I had not had the same challenges with my daughter, so when I expressed my frustration to my wife, she said, “Well, Jeff, that’s because your daughter’s mind thinks in the same way your’s does, but your son’s does not.” So I tried a little experiment. I told them that I was going say a word, and I wanted them to tell me immediately what they saw in their heads. I said the word, “cow,” and my daughter then said that she saw the word “cow” in her mind (just like me), but my son proceeded to describe an entire visual scene of cow in a pasture behind a fence. In that moment, I finally understood that my son thought differently than I did, and so he needed a different approach, but he also brought different insight.

This is something that you also need to understand, that not everyone thinks the same way that you do. But that’s a good thing, and we need to accept that, and to see how that is a benefit to our leadership and to our relationships. I think of three important ways that others who think differently than you bring value and need your support:

  1. They think of different things. You don’t know everything, and as my dad would say to me, “The more you know, the more you know you don’t know.” Other people know different things than you do, so tapping into their knowledge increases the overall knowledge of your organization.
  2. They think in different ways. Because they think differently, they will look from a different angle and through a different lens. The result will be new ideas and different ways of doing things that can increase the overall effectiveness and value of your organization.
  3. They need a different approach. They need the freedom and the support to able to think they way they think. If you try to force them to think the way you think through things, you will lose the benefit of the different things they think of and the different ways they think about things.

That’s the lesson on leadership from this little thing in life, from hearing my grandson say out loud how he was processing information in his brain. Not everybody thinks the same way. Different brains process things differently, and because they do, they bring different ideas and perspectives. So when we try to force others to think in the same way that we think, it has a negative impact for them and for us. If you want better knowledge and greater effectiveness, accept and encourage others to think the way that they think, because not everyone thinks the same way.

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Quote Your Dad


“Your walk talks and your talk talks, but your walk talks louder than your talk talks.”

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Podcast Season 3, Episode 42: Lessons on Leadership from the Little Things in Life – Ready to Take Charge

Life is full of examples that teach us lessons. That’s why stories and illustrations make learning so much more effective. When a story can be used to illustrate or demonstrate a valuable lesson, the story makes it much more understandable, relatable, and memorable. With that in mind, I want to take some time to do just that – share examples of circumstances and stories experienced in everyday life which illustrate leadership lessons that we can learn and apply. This is one of those examples, and it serves as a reminder that you need to be prepared for the moments when you need to take charge.

Here is the link to the podcast.

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Lessons on Leadership from the Little Things in Life: Ready to Take Charge

Life is full of examples that teach us lessons. That’s why stories and illustrations make learning so much more effective. When a story can be used to illustrate or demonstrate a valuable lesson, the story makes it much more understandable, relatable, and memorable. With that in mind, I want to take some time to do just that – share examples of circumstances and stories experienced in everyday life which illustrate leadership lessons that we can learn and apply. This is one of those examples, and it serves as a reminder that you need to be prepared for the moments when you need to take charge.

On a beautiful Sunday morning, we were walking into church. As we were making our way down the sidewalk and approaching the stairs to the entrance, my 3-year-old granddaughter suddenly and forcefully told my grandson where he needed to step, took my daughter’s Bible and told me to carry it, took my daughter’s hand, and said, “Now we’re ready, let’s go!” I watched this happen and jokingly commented, “Well, somebody has to take charge!”

This reminded me of an experience I had when I was in high school. It was between my junior and senior year, and I was attending a week at a summer camp in a different state and didn’t know a single other person there. I am by nature an introvert, and I struggled with confidence at that time in my life, so I was doing my best to stay in the background. As the week began, the campers were divided into two teams for a week of activities and competitions. My team gathered to prepare for the first activity, and there seemed to be only confusion. Did I mention that I was also very competitive? I wanted to win, but all I could see was disorder, so finally, I stood up, got everybody’s attention, and started directing a plan. At the end of the week, my team had won, and the staff selected me as the camper of the week. If they only knew how much of a reluctant leader I was! But when the need was pressing and no one was leading, I took charge.

Often it seems like leaders are dominant personalities, who naturally seem to take charge. Those dominant leaders need to be sure to consider and involve others when they take charge. Less frequently, there are leaders who seem to be more reserved and introverted, which is my tendency, but that doesn’t negate or remove the necessity of taking charge when it is needed. Regardless of the type of leader you are, there is a Bible verse that has been significant in my life that underscores the prerequisite to taking charge. Ezra 7:10 says, “For Ezra had prepared his heart to seek the Law of the Lord, and to do it, and to teach statutes and ordinances in Israel.” Before you can be ready to take charge, you first have to prepare your heart, which involves two things:

  1. Cultivate the right person inside, by developing your character and integrity. Even more importantly, if you are a follower of Jesus Christ, learn to know God personally and intimately and align your inner person to Him.
  2. Exhibit the right person outside, by conducting yourself with external behavior that reflects the internal character you have been developing. Live outwardly in a way that matches who you are internally.

That’s the lesson on leadership from this little thing in life, from watching my granddaughter take charge of the situation as we were walking into church. No matter what kind of leader you are, you need to be prepared and ready to take charge when it is needed. That begins by developing your character on the inside, and then by living and acting with integrity on the outside. Without ignoring other leadership and organizational skills that are required to lead well in a circumstance that requires it, if you have done those things, you will be ready. It may be easy for you or it may be hard for you, but either way, you have been personally prepared and you are ready to take charge.

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Quote Your Dad

“You don’t see what you are not looking for.”

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Podcast Season 3, Episode 41: Lessons on Leadership from the Little Things in Life – You Don’t See Everything

Life is full of examples that teach us lessons. That’s why stories and illustrations make learning so much more effective. When a story can be used to illustrate or demonstrate a valuable lesson, the story makes it much more understandable, relatable, and memorable. With that in mind, I want to take some time to do just that – share examples of circumstances and stories experienced in everyday life which illustrate leadership lessons that we can learn and apply. This is one of those examples, and it serves as a reminder that you don’t see everything.

Here is the link to the podcast.

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Lessons on Leadership from the Little Things in Life: You Don’t See Everything

Life is full of examples that teach us lessons. That’s why stories and illustrations make learning so much more effective. When a story can be used to illustrate or demonstrate a valuable lesson, the story makes it much more understandable, relatable, and memorable. With that in mind, I want to take some time to do just that – share examples of circumstances and stories experienced in everyday life which illustrate leadership lessons that we can learn and apply. This is one of those examples, and it serves as a reminder that you don’t see everything.

I thought about this when I was reflecting on my past experience as an educator. I recall one particular experience in my first year as a teacher when I was standing in the hallway having a face-to-face conversation with a student. I don’t remember what we were talking about, but I do remember the satisfaction of feeling like I was connecting with students. Then, a principal walked past us, stopped, looked at the student, and kindly told him to spit out his gum. The school had “no-gum” policy (because who wants to put their hand under a desk and stick their fingers unto someone else’s used gum), and yet I was looking directly into the face of student and I hadn’t even noticed that he had gum in his mouth.

Although the principal was gracious about it, as a new teacher I was mortified. Something that I was supposed to handle was happening right in front of me, and I didn’t even see it. I know that this was likely not the first time it was true in my job (or in my life in general), but I think it was the first time I realized that I could miss things, sometime obvious things and sometimes important things, and not even know it. Now, it would be fair to say that with experience I got better at seeing things I needed to see as a teacher, but in part that was because I did a better job of focusing on those things . . . and in the process would miss other things that were not part of my focus. No matter how much I improved at seeing some things, I still didn’t see everything.

This is also going to be true for you. I don’t know if you are humble enough to accept it, but regardless, it is still the case, because your brain has certain tendencies. Simon and Chabris demonstrated this in a research experiment involving a basketball, a focused task, and a man in a gorilla suit (if you’re interested, search for Simon and Chabris’s 1999 study, “Gorillas in Our Midst”). The study showed that conscious perception requires our intentional attention because we tend to see what we are looking for, but often see only what we are looking for, and we tend to not see what we are not looking for. Think about the last time you looked everywhere for something you had misplaced, only to find it right in front of you. In your mind, you remembered it looking a little different, or in a specific place, so unconsciously that’s what you were looking for, and therefore didn’t notice when it was in an obvious place where you had already looked.

Because that is the tendency of your brain, it is important that you not be too quick to assume that you have seen everything and then to jump to conclusions. Proverbs 18:13 tells us, “He answers a matter before he hears it, it is folly and shame to him.” One of my counseling professors shared that verse with my class and encouraged us to keep it in front of us when we were listening to patients. And for years as an educator, I kept it on my desk as a reminder when I was listening to discipline situations involving students. It’s because you don’t see everything that you need to make sure you are gathering all the information before you respond.

And that’s the lesson on leadership from this little thing in life, from a recollection of not seeing that a student was chewing gum right in front of my face. You don’t see everything. Partly that is because you can’t focus on everything at once, so you tend to pay attention to what you want to see, and to not see what you are not looking for. For that reason, you need to be careful to hear and receive the observations and information of others, and to not jump to conclusions before you get it. Don’t make decisions or react with your response before you have all the information, because remember, you don’t see everything.

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Quote Your Dad

“The little foxes spoil the vineyard.” Song of Solomon 2:15

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