Life is full of examples that teach us lessons. When we see or hear or experience something from which we can learn, it is that example and experience that often helps us remember the lesson. That’s why stories and illustrations make learning so much more effective. When a story can be used to illustrate or demonstrate a valuable lesson, the story makes it much more understandable, relatable, and memorable. And so I am sharing examples of circumstances and stories that I have experienced in my everyday life which illustrate leadership lessons that we can learn and apply. This is one of those stories, and it’s an important reminder to rejoice in the growth of others.
My grandson is diagnosed with autism, along with a sensory processing disorder. He is an amazing kid with tremendous gifts and abilities, but there are some things that he struggles with. He has a difficult time with large crowds, loud noises, heights, and confined spaces. But he also loves solving puzzles, figuring out locks and doors, and learning how things work. So a year ago, when we went to NASA’s Johnson Space Center in Houston, he loved learning about planets and rockets, and about how doors worked in space. But when it came time to walk through the 747 and its attached Space Shuttle that were outside, he would not do it. He would not go up the stairs, the crowd was too big, it was too noisy and too confined, and he could not get himself to take the first step.
But fast forward one year later, a couple of weeks ago, when we returned to the space center for another day trip. Once again, he thoroughly enjoyed learning all about the science and technology, but this time, one thing was very different. When we approached the plane and space shuttle exhibit, he turned and looked at us and said “Let’s go! We have to see all of it!” We had not asked him or pushed, but the growth that he had experienced over the previous year was obvious, and we were so happy about that that we could hardly contain it. It thrilled us to the core to see how much he had grown.
This made me think about how we respond when we see growth in others in our places of work and professional networks. Often the response is impacted by a sense of competitiveness, feelings of jealousy, or a perceived need for self-preservation. In some way or another, we see others succeed and grow, and we view it as a threat to our own success or as a reflection of our own inability or failure. Ultimately, this kind of response stems from our own selfishness and insecurities, and all it does is foster misery and bitterness.
In contrast, the healthy response is to rejoice when others grow. It reminds me of a line from the televison sitcom, “Everybody Loves Raymond,” when Robert said to Debra about Raymond, “I know; his success is his success and not my failure.” It also makes me think of Romans 12:15, which says, “Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.” True successes come out of a combination of gifts and abilities involving more than one person, not a single individual accomplishment, so when others grow, it can help us grow by extension (you have likely heard the cliche, “A rising tide lifts all boats.”). Beyond that, true kindness and love celebrates with and on behalf of others. When someone else grows, it’s not a reflection of you, it’s a reflection of them. Rejoice in that, in the same way you want others to celebrate your growth.
That’s the lesson on leadership from this little thing in life, from seeing the remarkable growth in my grandson from one year to the next. I know that you want to grow, but so does everyone else. So when they do, when they take steps forward or achieve new milestones, celebrate with them. When they grow, it’s not a statement about you. It’s your own growth that makes a statement about you. So, for the good of everyone, including youself, rejoice with others when they grow.
