Lessons on Leadership from the Little Things in Life: You Don’t See Everything
Life is full of examples that teach us lessons. That’s why stories and illustrations make learning so much more effective. When a story can be used to illustrate or demonstrate a valuable lesson, the story makes it much more understandable, relatable, and memorable. With that in mind, I want to take some time to do just that – share examples of circumstances and stories experienced in everyday life which illustrate leadership lessons that we can learn and apply. This is one of those examples, and it serves as a reminder that you don’t see everything.
I thought about this when I was reflecting on my past experience as an educator. I recall one particular experience in my first year as a teacher when I was standing in the hallway having a face-to-face conversation with a student. I don’t remember what we were talking about, but I do remember the satisfaction of feeling like I was connecting with students. Then, a principal walked past us, stopped, looked at the student, and kindly told him to spit out his gum. The school had “no-gum” policy (because who wants to put their hand under a desk and stick their fingers unto someone else’s used gum), and yet I was looking directly into the face of student and I hadn’t even noticed that he had gum in his mouth.
Although the principal was gracious about it, as a new teacher I was mortified. Something that I was supposed to handle was happening right in front of me, and I didn’t even see it. I know that this was likely not the first time it was true in my job (or in my life in general), but I think it was the first time I realized that I could miss things, sometime obvious things and sometimes important things, and not even know it. Now, it would be fair to say that with experience I got better at seeing things I needed to see as a teacher, but in part that was because I did a better job of focusing on those things . . . and in the process would miss other things that were not part of my focus. No matter how much I improved at seeing some things, I still didn’t see everything.
This is also going to be true for you. I don’t know if you are humble enough to accept it, but regardless, it is still the case, because your brain has certain tendencies. Simon and Chabris demonstrated this in a research experiment involving a basketball, a focused task, and a man in a gorilla suit (if you’re interested, search for Simon and Chabris’s 1999 study, “Gorillas in Our Midst”). The study showed that conscious perception requires our intentional attention because we tend to see what we are looking for, but often see only what we are looking for, and we tend to not see what we are not looking for. Think about the last time you looked everywhere for something you had misplaced, only to find it right in front of you. In your mind, you remembered it looking a little different, or in a specific place, so unconsciously that’s what you were looking for, and therefore didn’t notice when it was in an obvious place where you had already looked.
Because that is the tendency of your brain, it is important that you not be too quick to assume that you have seen everything and then to jump to conclusions. Proverbs 18:13 tells us, “He answers a matter before he hears it, it is folly and shame to him.” One of my counseling professors shared that verse with my class and encouraged us to keep it in front of us when we were listening to patients. And for years as an educator, I kept it on my desk as a reminder when I was listening to discipline situations involving students. It’s because you don’t see everything that you need to make sure you are gathering all the information before you respond.
And that’s the lesson on leadership from this little thing in life, from a recollection of not seeing that a student was chewing gum right in front of my face. You don’t see everything. Partly that is because you can’t focus on everything at once, so you tend to pay attention to what you want to see, and to not see what you are not looking for. For that reason, you need to be careful to hear and receive the observations and information of others, and to not jump to conclusions before you get it. Don’t make decisions or react with your response before you have all the information, because remember, you don’t see everything.
