Lessons on Leadership from the Little Things in Life: The Good in the Struggle

Life is full of examples that teach us lessons. That’s why stories and illustrations make learning so much more effective. When a story can be used to illustrate or demonstrate a valuable lesson, the story makes it much more understandable, relatable, and memorable. With that in mind, I want to take some time to do just that – share examples of circumstances and stories experienced in everyday life which illustrate leadership lessons that we can learn and apply. This is one of those examples, and it teaches us about the good that is in the struggle.

I saw this in action with one of my grandchildren recently. At 2 years old, my granddaughter is already a highly active outdoor person who loves to climb things and kick a ball around the yard. She had decided it was time to go outside, so she went to the closet, pulled out a pair of shoes, and started trying to put them on. As an independent little girl, she didn’t ask if she could go outside and didn’t ask for help with her shoes. She just pulled them out and tried to put them on. I watched her as she made repeated unsuccessful attempts and struggled patiently until she finally got a foot into a shoe. At that point, I rewarded her effort, patience, and tenacity by helping her finish and taking her outside to play.

I loved watching her do this, and intentionally chose not to intervene when she started trying to put her shoes on by herself. I could have immediately jumped to her aid and put her shoes on for her. But when I saw her struggling, I stayed back and let her work at it. She was motivated by the goal of going outside, and was willing to try. It was a skill that she will eventually need to learn anyway. So the best thing I could do in the moment was to hold back, watch, and encourage.

I’m sure you are already making these connections, but there are some great lessons in this experience that portray the good that comes from struggle. You might see more, but I see these as a minimum:

1. Struggle leads to growth. It grows your patience and tenacity. It develops your skills and abilities. It helps you grow when you have to try to figure out and do things you previously were unable to do.
2. Struggle makes you stronger. What drives your growth is the increased strength that comes from having to push hard. Just as the wings of a butterfly get the strength for flying by struggling to escape from a cocoon, your physical and figurative muscles are strengthened when they have to work at something that is not easy.
3. Struggle helps you learn. Sometimes you observe others doing it, then you try, and struggle as you try, to learn how to do what you have seen. Sometimes you are analyzing and processing and trying to figure it out, and you learn from trial and error. Either way, as you struggle, you learn and get better.
4. Struggle builds your confidence. When you struggle and overcome, it boosts your belief in what you can do. It shows you that you can do hard things. If everything is easy, people tend to quit when it gets hard because they don’t think they can do it. But having to work for things helps you to know that if you work at it, you may very well be able to do it.

These are great lessons on leadership from this little thing in life, from this experience of watching my granddaughter struggle to put on her shoes. Struggle is good for the development of the people you lead. It leads to growth, it builds their strength, it helps them learn, and it increases their confidence. What that means for you is that you ought to give them opportunities to struggle (but then make it safe for them to fail so that they will continue to try!), and only intervene when they have put in effort and shown progress. See the big-picture benefit for them that will come from allowing some struggle, and use that opportunity to help them get better. There is good in their struggle, help them to find it!