Lessons on Leadership from the Little Things in Life: Facing Your Fears

Life is full of examples that teach us lessons. That’s why stories and illustrations make learning so much more effective. When a story can be used to illustrate or demonstrate a valuable lesson, the story makes it much more understandable, relatable, and memorable. With that in mind, I want to take some time to do just that – share examples of circumstances and stories experienced in everyday life which illustrate leadership lessons that we can learn and apply. This is one of those examples, and it teaches us about some things we can learn from facing our fears and helping others to do the same.

We had taken our grandchildren on a dinosaur-themed trip that included hiking at Dinosaur Valley State Park in Glen Rose, Texas. We were headed out to the park in the morning, while it was still somewhat cool (we live in Texas, after all), to do some hiking. Included in that hiking was taking the path down to the river to see fossilized dinosaur footprints in the riverbed. When we arrived at the best spot in the park to see the dinosaur tracks, the good news was that the river was low enough that we would be able to see the tracks. The bad news was that the tracks were on the other side of the river, and we had to cross a path of stepping stones across the river to get there.

One of my grandchildren was eager to race across the stone path, while the other was initially too afraid to go. To that grandchild, it looked too intimidating, fraught with danger and the likelihood that we would fall into the river. So I sat with that grandchild on a rock while the others stepped across on the stones and marveled at the dinosaur tracks. Meanwhile, I was having a conversation about the fears vs the thrill of what we could see if we faced those fears. Eventually, with a deep breath, we crossed the river with the condition that I was holding this child as we crossed. When we got to the other side, two things happened: joy at seeing real dinosaur tracks, and a boost in confidence that led to boldness for the rest of the day.

I have my own fears that I have had to face, and sometimes I have done that well, but other times I have not. At times, I have done my best to avoid the situations that caused me fear, but often fear-inducing circumstances are unavoidable. Being faced with those fears will then cause me to be anxious, or timid, or upset, and will affect my actions in the moment. At the same time, when others are confronted with fears that I think are irrational, it’s easy for me to minimize their fears. The reality is that everyone has fears, and if we are going to lead them (and ourselves) well, there are three things I learned in this experience with my grandchild that can help us with this:

1. It is important to exhibit patience and gentleness. Regardless of whether or not the fear is unfounded, or even irrational, the fear is real to that person. Rather than forceful confrontation or belittling, they need compassion and a safe context to face that fear.
2. One of the best things we can do is to walk with them in the process rather than trying to simply remove the cause of the fear. There is a lot that can be learned by facing fears, so removing the source of it can limit opportunities for growth. Instead, walk with them through it. King David expressed this perspective about God in Psalm 23 when he said, “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for You are with me.”
3. ‭‭When a fear has been successfully faced, confidence grows. It may be that they realize that it wasn’t as fearful as they thought it would be, or that they feel the empowerment from having faced and conquered. Regardless, the result is personal growth and increased confidence.

That’s the leadership lesson from this little thing in life, from helping a grandchild conquer a fear. We all have fears that can hinder our progress, as do the people we lead. Yes, you can “throw them into the deep end of the pool,” but that’s not the same thing as helping someone confront their fears and grow in the process. Step alongside them with patience and gentleness, and walk with them through the process of navigating those fears. When you do, they will grow.